Lies

During dinner, Bor had noticed that Kiri was nervous. Like he always did when something made him uneasy, Kiri bit his nails whenever he had a chance and said kainira nearly after every sentence.

Usually he would have asked him what was going on, but he didn’t really want to right now. He knew the exact reason of why he was nervous, and the topic that his brother was obsessed with was one that he had never liked.

With a silence only interrupted when he decided to praise the food that Kiri had prepared for that night, he peacefully went through the dinner with no mention of the doubt that haunted his younger brother. They ate peacefully; they cleaned everything and calmly went to bed. Right when Bor was about to claim the outcome of the situation as a personal victory, the hasty dark-haired child that his brother was talked.

-But what if, Bor... –whispered the little boy.

-There's no "what if" for that, Kiri. –answered Bor, frustrated because of the defeat that the question meant for him.- That just can't happen.

-But why? Why not Bor? –replied Kiri louder, now talking as he usually did, wielding his high-pitched voice as a blade that slashed through his brother’s persistence.- I just want you to answer that question and then I’ll shut up. –he said while he moved his left hand over his mouth as if he was closing it manually.- What if I am the best liar in the world? What if I am so good at lying, what if I lie so convincingly, that even I believe my lies?!

While Kiri said those words he gradually raised his voice. Bor made him a sign to lower his voice and, embarrassed, Kiri closed his mouth, doing the very same movement with the hand he had done seconds ago.

-What if I'm not good, but horribly bad instead. –whispered Kiri, as if he was telling his brother a secret.- What if that's the truth, but I'm so good at lying that even I can't be sure about it.

-That's nonsense. –said  Bor, waving his hand while trying to stop the discussion.- Just let that be and go to sleep.

But Kiri wouldn't stop there.

-What if, since I realize that I was horrible, I wanted to hide it from everyone? –he  said, rising his voice once again while talking.- What if I am an abomination, such a horrible one, that I even scared the shit out of myself. And then that happened Bor!

-It doesn't work that way Kiri. Please, leave this as it is, we needn't make it more complicated.

-Why doesn't it Bor? I believe it does! -shouted Kiri, exhalted.- What if I lied to myself and convinced my very own abomination to hide beneath a lamb's skin. I may look like a lamb, even to myself, but maybe I am not. Maybe I'm so good at lying that I don't even remember being a...

-If that was really the case, Kiri. –interrupted Bor with a serious tone.- Then you would not be lying anymore. You would not be a beast anymore, because you would have buried it deep into your past. And now go to sleep.

Those words were enough to calm Kiri who, satisfied with his brother’s answers, went to bed. The little black-haired boy fell asleep immediately, but his brother did not. The moons came and went, but Bor didn’t sleep at all that night.

He was busy keeping his monsters confined.